I’ve always known I was an introvert. Growing up I was just called “shy” even though that could be the furthest thing from the truth when I was with a group of friends I knew well. Although I was constantly encouraged to “speak up” in class or to “make more friends,” I had an inner voice that knew better what I needed, and I made peace with who I was.
Of course when you’re a teenager or in your 20s and just living your introvert life, you never think, uh oh, what’s going to happen when I become a Mom? An introverted Mom? How’s that going to work out?
Well, I found out. I’ve never had to step outside my comfort zones so many times since I became a Mom. It hasn’t been easy. I had to adjust to a new life full of noise, play dates, kids activities, parties, and all those darn phone calls to make appointments.
I often found myself mentally exhausted and ready to snap by days end. And then my extroverted husband would come home from work and I’d have to be “on” again because he just wants to talk, talk, talk.
So what’s an introverted Mom supposed to do to stay sane? Well, I’ve been introverted Mommin’ in for 11 years now, and I have a few survival tips for you.
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Accept Your Introverted Self
I know, it’s not easy. Not when you feel guilty for wanting someone else to take your kids to that crazy loud birthday party, or when you feel silly for wanting to sit in the car during soccer practice rather than chatting with the other parents.
But Momma, you have to let yourself off the hook. Being an introvert is just who you are and you are more valuable to this world that you realize. We bring a calm, steady, presence that is needed in today’s loud, hectic, go-go-go world.
You are enough.
Need convincing? I recently had the good fortune to find this wonderful book written just for our introverted Mom souls. It’s called Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy by Jamie C. Martin. I laughed, I cried, I nodded my head in agreement over and over again.
You mean I’m not the only one who hates talking on the phone? I’m not the only one that is secretly joyous when a planned activity or outing gets cancelled? I have people?
Jamie’s book will nourish your introverted Mom soul. Her words are the reassurance you need to hear when you think you aren’t doing your Mom job well enough. Finally, someone who understands, who gets your struggles, and gives you the support you’ve always needed to succeed as an introverted Mom. Treat yourself to a copy today!
Exercise for Your Health and Solitude
We all know exercise is good for our body, but the solitude that we can find in taking time to exercise can be good for our introverted minds as well.
Whether you join a gym with a good childcare program and enjoy a solitary turn on the treadmill, or take a walk in the early morning hours before your husband leaves for work, finding a way to exercise and calm your mind isn’t impossible.
I personally wake up before the kids and workout with exercise videos in my bedroom. Some of my favorite videos are by a woman named Jessica Smith, who has such a sunny disposition it’s just fun to work out along with her! You can find her free videos on youtube at JessicaSmithTV, or check out her videos for purchase on Amazon. I recommend Walk On: 5 Fat Burning Miles, Walk Strong: 6 Week Total Transformation System, and Feel Good Fusion.
Volunteer On Your Own Terms
Just because I’m an introvert, it doesn’t mean that I don’t like to help out. I volunteer at many of my kids activities. But, I do it in a way that I can help and not be uncomfortable. During Vacation Bible School I work in the kitchen preparing snacks for the campers, rather than leading a station or group of kids. During Scout meetings you’ll find me in the back selling pizza, or handing out cake. I’m busy, and engaging with people one on one, rather than sitting with a group of parents uncomfortably trying to find something to add to the conversation.
Take Mom Time Every Day
As introverts we have so much going on in our heads that it can be difficult to calm our minds and just relax. After reading Jamie’s book I realized that I too often mistake self-care for self-improvement. I might have an hour away from home but I’ve busied myself with errands or researching the next best homeschool curriculum or inexpensive ways to update a bathroom.
We need to take the time to do something every day that nourishes our mind, body or soul, even if all we get is five minutes. With 10 minutes I can play a mindless game on my iPad, or check my Instagram account. If I have an hour alone I love to paint my nails and have a cup of coffee. It’s amazing how refreshed I feel after I take that “mind-calming” time to myself.
You may find this time at home or you may need to take the time while you are waiting (in your car 😉 for your child’s lesson. Get creative! Find something that works for you and don’t feel guilty taking the time! (Jamie has a wonderful list of ideas in her book, based on how much time you have if you need suggestions!)
Most importantly, keep in mind that as an introverted Mom, you can’t be fully present for your family if you don’t take care of yourself. So if nothing else, make sure this is the one tip that you follow for a healthy introverted Mom life!